You may recall, Sisters and Brothers, that a while back you Chocolate Priestess discussed a university study that was being spun in the mass media as "chocolate lessens pain". While the study didn't really say this, I also mentioned there are times in my life when pain and discomfort do increase the temptation for chocolate. I want to talk about what I'm going through right now.
I've injured myself. In an attempt to support a partner, I started exercising 5 evenings a week with him by walking in the mall. Normally not a big deal, we started with 15 minutes and worked our way to the 45 he is supposed to do. It felt like a work out for me for two reasons: I don't normally walk for such a long period at once and my partner has much longer legs so it was challenge for me to keep him and for him to not race ahead.
No, the walking itself was not the problem. It was the fact that I added walking to a good exercise routine that was helping me get healthier and feel better. I biked 60 minutes 5 mornings a week using a recumbent bike since I've had lower back problems since I was a child.
And therein lay the cause of my current pain: over-exercising.
Now you may not believe that you can over-exercise when you watch shows like "The Biggest Loser" where they push people to exercise for hours on end but I've been ill before from over-exercise. Much like with chocolate, I have to monitor when I do something that feels good or I will over-indulge or push myself too far. Perhaps some of you reading this can understand this tendency yourself.
Now I'm in pain, constant pain but especially when I move. I went to a sports doctor who gave me pain medication, told me what I can and can't do and set me up for physical therapy. The goal is to get me back to biking and hopefully walking again though probably not with my partner since it may simply be I can't move at his pace without hurting myself.
What does all this have to do with chocolate?
Even though I know the study about pain said it wasn't the chocolate that lessened the pain but the act of eating or drinking, I want cocoa so badly now. I want that buzz to overwhelm my mind so I can't feel anything else. I want the taste and smell to overcome my senses so I can focus on other things. Chocolate has always been there to comfort me and I so much want comfort now as I fear not being able to handle my obligations to my university, my family or The Chocolate Cult.
It is a comfort I dread because I know I could so easily gain back the 30 pounds I've lost this year since I won't be exercising for a while.
I will still do the Sacraments on Saturdays and still use my wonderful fiber bars with chocolate, but I must keep repeating our mantra: Moderation and Purposefulness. This is the only chance I have of getting through the next several weeks of recovery without falling off the Path and back into the Darkness of 39 years of poor chocolate useage.
Thank you all for reading this far and for indulging my need to get personal for a bit. I promise back to more chocolate news and reviews today. Luckily I have quite a stockpile of them.
Sisters and Brothers, may you too take the time to slowly appreciate what the Divine and human ingenuity have offered you in chocolate.